Living Life in Mrs. Pege Rogers' Neighborhood

Early Monday morning, October 23, 2017, just after the clock struck midnight, 55-year-old Pege Rogers suddenly and unexpectedly died of an embolism in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Over twenty years ago, Rachelle and I became friends with Pege and her husband Jeff. This young couple and their children had become members of Emmanuel Enid. For nearly 10 years we enjoyed fellowship with the Rogers prior to Jeff's business transferring him and his family to Colorado Springs.

The ups-and-downs of life, which are common to us all, were also part of the Rogers family when they were in Enid. The down times were particularly difficult during those early years, especially for Pege. She was open and transparent about her spiritual journey and her struggle with depression. We walked with Jeff and Pege through those shadow times, and like fog dissipating in a valley, God's grace shined through and Pege came out of her dark times stronger and more Kingdom-oriented than ever before. 

While living in Colorado Springs, Pege and Jeff have remained part of our church. Jeff became a biblical scholar par-excellence, teaching others the Scriptures deftly through his writings. Pege would watch our services online and she became a leading commentator on my blog posts. Sometimes I learned more from reading Pege's short observations about what I'd written than I did from my own research. 

Recently, Pege gave me permission to publish an email she wrote to me on the observations she made about her struggle with anger. Most people know that depression is stuffed anger, and the wisdom of Pege on this matter is invaluable. 

Pege wrote:

One thing my mother always said was "YOU MADE ME ANGRY!" I had a lot of power as a kid, didn't I? Both my mom and dad knew the words to lay on shame and guilt. I believed I was responsible for so much for my mother's or father’s bad behavior because of what I did or did not do to make them happy, I took responsibly for how others felt. I became very, very driven to how I behaved and performed. I became a “HUMAN_DOING, instead of a “HUMAN BEING”. Alas, I could never get it right for the standard changed like their emotions. I would always say, “I don’t want you to feel,” or “I don’t want you to think,” or “I don’t want you to believe.”

I was married for about 12 years when I came to you complaining about my marriage. You began to teach me about relationships. You used good ole Oklahoma English to talk to me, it sounded like words from another planet as far as what I could understand. You were patient because it took a very long time for me to understand. When I begin to think like this I found it to be a difficult paradigm shift. It came slowly. It changed my life.

I began taking responsibility for my own actions. My kids did not "MAKE ME ANGRY", I chose anger as a response to my kids. My husband was not changing in the ways I wanted him to change. Isn't that what he is supposed to do? LOL!!! I could not change my husband all I could do was love him. Let him live in freedom. God would bring the changes about that He wanted to bring about. I was only responsible for ME, my feelings, my hurt, my responses to people. I did not need to perform my Christianity for God to approve of me. God approved of me because of CHRIST. Sanctification was a process not a do and don't list all so people would think I was a good Christian and they would like me because I did so much in the church.

I learned to JUST BE ME. I let others be themselves. I became less judgmental and less critical of others and I learned to love them. I learned that I have Christ. That is enough. If I am loved by others that's great. If I am rejected by others That's great too for I will be alright because I have Jesus. Like I said, it took me a bunch of years to retrain my thinking, but praise be to God I did learn. My marriage is healthier, my relationship with my children as adults is wonderful and I make decisions and take actions according to what I believe is the right thing to do. I also reap the good or bad consequences without fear or blame of others. THANKS, WADE!!! I appreciate you not giving up on a slow learner like me.

Jeff, Rachelle and I and many others have lost a friend.  We lost a sister-in-Christ who has taught us much. Our prayers are with you and your children, now adults themselves. I wish all of us could live the rest of our lives in Mrs. Roger's neighborhood. Pege got it.

Funeral services will be Thursday, October 26, 2017 at 11:00 am.