The Reason the SBC Will Not Create a Minister Sex Abuse Data Base Is Liability, Not Polity

The Daily Oklahoman's excellent religion reporter, Carla Hinton, wrote a feature article in today's Daily Oklahoman on my recommendation that the Southern Baptist Convention create a data base that tracks sexually abusive ministers. I initially proposed the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention investigate the establishment of the data base at the 2007 San Antonio Southern Baptist Convention. In 2008 the Executive Committee ruled it was impossible for the SBC to establish such a data base, a decision that Time Magazine called "one of ten most under-reported national stories of 2008."

 In Carla Hinton's story, she gives the response of Roger Oldham, the Communications Director for the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention, when he was asked about my renewed call for the data base. Roger is quoted as saying,  "Nothing has changed since 2008. Burleson knows the difficulty of creating the data base. He himself indicated how it can't happen because of polity."

Roger is a  dedicated employee of the SBC and does a nice job as our Director of Communications.  I thought I might offer a gentle correction to what seems an attempt by Roger to speak on my behalf instead of the SBC. I can't recall speaking to Roger, so I'm unsure on what basis he claims I have indicated the SBC date base cannot happen because of polity. In point of fact, I have made just the opposite argument. The SBC data base is simply a data base of information. The data base will not in any way, shape or fashion affect 'local church autonomy' or violate 'SBC polity.'

The real problem with the Executive Committee creating the Southern Baptist Convention data base that tracks ministers who have been sexually abusive to others is a problem that very few people will discuss openly. The problem is one of liability.

Churches Are On the Hotseat, the SBC wishes to Keep It that Way

Right now there is no legal connection between independent, legally incorporated Southern Baptist churches and the Southern Baptist Convention in Nashville, Tennessee. Churches voluntarily 'affiliate' with the Southern Baptist Convention for the purpose of missions and ministry, but there is no line of 'authority,' as there is in the Roman Catholic Church or other mainline Christian denominations. Local churches ordain ministers, not the SBC. Local churches call pastors and staff, not the SBC. Local churches fire ministers and staff, not the SBC.

Most Southern Baptists don't realize that the church to which they belong is legally incorporated by the state in which the church is located, and if a lawsuit is filed against the church, the ones on the proverbial 'hotseat' are the trustees of the corporation (church). I imagine that 95% of SBC church members could not even name their trustees, much less acknowledge that the position of trustee existed within the church. The Trustee Board is not composed of the pastors, nor the entire membership of the church, but specific men (possibly women in some churches) who have been identified in the church's legal documents as those who have the "legal responsibilities" for the decisions of the church. Trustees are the reason why churches carry what is called "Trustee Liability Insurance." When a church is sued, the trustees are sued, and the church's insurance company must protect the church (trustees) in court.

If and when a lawsuit comes against a Southern Baptist church from a victim of sexual abuse perpetrated by a SBC minister, the lawsuit will be against the "trustees" of a local church where that minister was employed, not the SBC. The Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention wishes to keep it this way. A data base makes it appear to the public as if the SBC has some type of "control," "accountability," or "authority over" independent, autonomous, legally incorporated Southern Baptist churches. Though a data base would be of great assistance to Southern Baptist churches in being able to track SBC ministers who either been credibly accused of, confessed to, or been convicted in court of sexually deviant behaviors, the SBC Executive Committee would rather steer clear of a data base for reasons of liability, not polity.

The Southern Baptist Convention does not wish to be in the position of the Roman Catholic Church. Hundreds of millions of dollars have already been paid out to victims of sexual abuse perpetrated by Roman Catholic priests. More lawsuits are being filed every month against the Roman Catholic Church. The Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention does not want to create a data base because when the lawsuits come, and they will be coming, the Executive Committee wants individual churches in the hotseat, not the Convention. So ....

The very reason (liability) why the Southern Baptist Convention is refusing to act on creating a data base that tracks sexually abusive Southern Baptist ministers is the same reason why trustees of churches who fail to legally, properly, and judicially deal with ministers who are guilty of sexually abusive behavior should be shaking in their boots.

Full Circle: Why the SBC Child Predator Database Is Needed Now, Not Later

This television report on Dallas superstation WFAA about Southern Baptist music minister John Langworthy's admitted sexual crimes against boys in Texas has broken my heart.

It's broken my heart for the victims of the crimes.

It's broken my heart for the parents of the victims of the crimes.

And it has broken my heart because a number of wonderful people--friends of mine--now find themselves in an exploding minefield that is not of their own making.

The people, staff and leaders of Morrison Heights Baptist Church in Clinton, Mississippi are the ones for whom I feel the most sorrow next to the victims and their families.

John Langworthy was their worship pastor until he was forced to resign May 29, 2011 (Update: After reading a transcript provided by BBC, it looks like John may have not been forced to resign from Morrison Heights) . The church was not informed at the time as to why he was forced to resign, and John only told them the reason was "mental and emotional anguish." A reception was given for John and Kathy Langworthy recognizing their years of faithful service at the church.

Unfortunately, Morrison Heights' members began learning of the sordid details of the crimes of their worship pastor on a blog that holds church leaders accountable for their actions. The information on the blog came from a former staff member at Prestonwood who worked with John at the time he sexually abused the boys in Texas. This staff member, a female, had already performed her due diligence in contacting all the leaders responsible for reporting John Lanworthy's actions to law enforcement. Feeling as if nothing was being done to hold John accountable for his actions, this former staff member went public.

Thus, the WFAA television report.

This past Sunday, August 7, 2011, ex-worship pastor John Langworthy stood before Morrison Heights Baptist Church and confessed to his past "mistakes." The WFAA television report was broadcast in Dallas the next day, Monday, August 8, 2011.

The crimes of John Langworthy in Dallas, Texas were never prosecuted because charges were never filed.  John, at the time of his predatorial sexual abuse of boys, was on staff at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas. Leadership at Prestonwood, for reasons not yet clear, chose not report to report John Langworthy's sexual crimes to law enforcement. Worse, leadership at Prestonwood did not publicly reveal to church members why John Langworthy was being released from staff. As a result, another Southern Baptist Church, Morrison Heights Baptist Church in Clinton, Mississippi eventually hired John Langworthy as their worship pastor and immediately put their entire church into a minefield of another's making.

The unknown and unseen mines surrounded parents of teenage boys in Clinton, Mississippi.

The unknown and unseen mines surrounded administrators of the Clinton Public School System.

The unknown and unseen mines surrounded the people, staff and leadership of Morrison Heights Baptist Church in Clinton, Mississsippi.

The mines are now exploding.

A Data Base for Sexual Predators Is Needed in the SBC

In June 2007  at the Southern Baptist Convention, I stepped to a microphone and said:

"I move that the Southern Baptist Convention requests the Executive Committee to conduct a feasibility study concerning the development of a database of Southern Baptist ministers who have been credibly accused of, personally confessed to, or legally been convicted of sexual harrassment or abuse, and that such a database be accessible to Southern Baptist churches in order to assist in preventing any future sexual abuse or harrassment."

The next year, in 2008, the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention rejected the establishment of any proposed database to track sexual abusers or predators in the SBC.

Time Magazine ranked this decision of the Executive Committee as one of the top 10 of most under-reported stories in the United States for 2008.

It's time for the Executive Committee of the SBC to reconsider.

I know the people of Morrison Heights. They are some of the finest, kindest, warm-hearted individuals on earth. I have had the pleasure of preaching there in 2004 when I served as President of the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma. John Langworthy was their worship pastor at that time.

Philip Gunn is now John Langworthy's attorney. I consider Phillip Gunn one of the finest Christian men I've ever met. He is a member of Morrison Heights and served as chairman of the Pulpit Committee when they called their current pastor. I am sure Philip Gunn would much rather be working at the state capital of Mississippi, or volunteering his services at Morrison Heights, or going out to dinner with his wife Lisa rather than being called upon to publicly defend his former worship pastor. I am also positive he would much prefer that his pastor not have to deal with the pain and heartache taking place all over their church because of the actions of John Langworthy in Texas.

Philip would much rather have had a worship pastor who had never molested boys. Morrison Heights Church would much rather have called a worship pastor who had never molested boys. The people of Morrison Heights would much rather have preferred to never pick up the phone and call now grown children and ask them if anything inappropriate ever happened on Morrison Heights choir trips with their worship leader.

Everything about this is painful.

But it all could have been stopped had forced reporting been instituted in the SBC,  had a SBC sexual abuse  data base been in existence, and had Morrison Heights made one phone call to the SBC headquarters in Nashville and asked the question of the date base employee, "Has John Langworthy ever been credibly accused of, personally confessed to, or legally been convicted of sexual harrassment or abuse?"

In a perfect world, the answer would have been "Yes."

When the world of Southern Baptist Convention church work is imperfect, as it is today, it is important to take steps to make it better.

It is high time for a sexual abuse data base in the SBC.

A Suicide Letter that Reveals the Pain of Child Abuse

Bill Zeller

In 2008 I placed a motion before the Southern Baptist Convention that a sexual offender data base be established by the SBC's Executive Office in order to keep track of pedophiles and sex offenders affiliated with SBC churches. Time Magazine called the SBC response to my motion  "the sixth most underreported story of 2008."

Some have asked why this issue of a data base is so important. Rather than articulate the various reasons why we ought to press to eradicate child abuse by identifying and holding accountable abusers, it might help to simply tell you the story of Bill Zeller.

Bill Zeller committed suicide on January 5, 2011.

Bill was 27 years old. His suicide was unusual for two reasons: (1). He was a rising star in the computer technology and internet security world. He helped expose serious security vulnerabilities of websites such as The New York Times, YouTube and ING Direct. Zeller also co-authored an influential paper arguing for increased government transparency online. His death was completely unexpected, even by his closest friends. (2). He left behind a 4,000 word suicide note that illustrates the lifetime damage child abuse brings to its victim.

WARNING: The following letter is not easy to read. It is heart-wrenching and at times vulgar. Yet, Bill Zeller's letter graphically illustrates why child abuse is something that must not be ignored. Bill Zeller asked that his letter be distributed far and wide after his death on the condition it be published in full. Bill's father, George Zeller, is the pastor of the independent, fundamental Middletown Bible Church in Middletown, Connecticut. Bill Zeller's suicide note is printed below in full.

BILL ZELLER (January 5, 2011)

"I have the urge to declare my sanity and justify my actions, but I assume I'll never be able to convince anyone that this was the right decision. Maybe it's true that anyone who does this is insane by definition, but I can at least explain my reasoning. I considered not writing any of this because of how personal it is, but I like tying up loose ends and don't want people to wonder why I did this. Since I've never spoken to anyone about what happened to me, people would likely draw the wrong conclusions.

 My first memories as a child are of being raped, repeatedly. This has affected every aspect of my life. This darkness, which is the only way I can describe it, has followed me like a fog, but at times intensified and overwhelmed me, usually triggered by a distinct situation. In kindergarten I couldn't use the bathroom and would stand petrified whenever I needed to, which started a trend of awkward and unexplained social behavior. The damage that was done to my body still prevents me from using the bathroom normally, but now it's less of a physical impediment than a daily reminder of what was done to me.


This darkness followed me as I grew up. I remember spending hours playing with legos, having my world consist of me and a box of cold, plastic blocks. Just waiting for everything to end. It's the same thing I do now, but instead of legos it's surfing the web or reading or listening to a baseball game. Most of my life has been spent feeling dead inside, waiting for my body to catch up.


At times growing up I would feel inconsolable rage, but I never connected this to what happened until puberty. I was able to keep the darkness at bay for a few hours at a time by doing things that required intense concentration, but it would always come back. Programming appealed to me for this reason. I was never particularly fond of computers or mathematically inclined, but the temporary peace it would provide was like a drug. But the darkness always returned and built up something like a tolerance, because programming has become less and less of a refuge.


The darkness is with me nearly every time I wake up. I feel like a grime is covering me. I feel like I'm trapped in a contimated body that no amount of washing will clean. Whenever I think about what happened I feel manic and itchy and can't concentrate on anything else. It manifests itself in hours of eating or staying up for days at a time or sleeping for sixteen hours straight or week long programming binges or constantly going to the gym. I'm exhausted from feeling like this every hour of every day.

Three to four nights a week I have nightmares about what happened. It makes me avoid sleep and constantly tired, because sleeping with what feels like hours of nightmares is not restful. I wake up sweaty and furious. I'm reminded every morning of what was done to me and the control it has over my life.

I've never been able to stop thinking about what happened to me and this hampered my social interactions. I would be angry and lost in thought and then be interrupted by someone saying "Hi" or making small talk, unable to understand why I seemed cold and distant. I walked around, viewing the outside world from a distant portal behind my eyes, unable to perform normal human niceties. I wondered what it would be like to take to other people without what happened constantly on my mind, and I wondered if other people had similar experiences that they were better able to mask.


Alcohol was also something that let me escape the darkness. It would always find me later, though, and it was always angry that I managed to escape and it made me pay. Many of the irresponsible things I did were the result of the darkness. Obviously I'm responsible for every decision and action, including this one, but there are reasons why things happen the way they do.


Alcohol and other drugs provided a way to ignore the realities of my situation. It was easy to spend the night drinking and forget that I had no future to look forward to. I never liked what alcohol did to me, but it was better than facing my existence honestly. I haven't touched alcohol or any other drug in over seven months (and no drugs or alcohol will be involved when I do this) and this has forced me to evaluate my life in an honest and clear way. There's no future here. The darkness will always be with me.


I used to think if I solved some problem or achieved some goal, maybe he would leave. It was comforting to identify tangible issues as the source of my problems instead of something that I'll never be able to change. I thought that if I got into to a good college, or a good grad school, or lost weight, or went to the gym nearly every day for a year, or created programs that millions of people used, or spent a summer or California or New York or published papers that I was proud of, then maybe I would feel some peace and not be constantly haunted and unhappy. But nothing I did made a dent in how depressed I was on a daily basis and nothing was in any way fulfilling. I'm not sure why I ever thought that would change anything.


I didn't realize how deep a hold he had on me and my life until my first relationship. I stupidly assumed that no matter how the darkness affected me personally, my romantic relationships would somehow be separated and protected. Growing up I viewed my future relationships as a possible escape from this thing that haunts me every day, but I began to realize how entangled it was with every aspect of my life and how it is never going to release me. Instead of being an escape, relationships and romantic contact with other people only intensified everything about him that I couldn't stand. I will never be able to have a relationship in which he is not the focus, affecting every aspect of my romantic interactions.


Relationships always started out fine and I'd be able to ignore him for a few weeks. But as we got closer emotionally the darkness would return and every night it'd be me, her and the darkness in a black and gruesome threesome. He would surround me and penetrate me and the more we did the more intense it became. It made me hate being touched, because as long as we were separated I could view her like an outsider viewing something good and kind and untainted. Once we touched, the darkness would envelope her too and take her over and the evil inside me would surround her. I always felt like I was infecting anyone I was with.


Relationships didn't work. No one I dated was the right match, and I thought that maybe if I found the right person it would overwhelm him. Part of me knew that finding the right person wouldn't help, so I became interested in girls who obviously had no interest in me. For a while I thought I was gay. I convinced myself that it wasn't the darkness at all, but rather my orientation, because this would give me control over why things didn't feel "right". The fact that the darkness affected sexual matters most intensely made this idea make some sense and I convinced myself of this for a number of years, starting in college after my first relationship ended. I told people I was gay (at Trinity, not at Princeton), even though I wasn't attracted to men and kept finding myself interested in girls. Because if being gay wasn't the answer, then what was? People thought I was avoiding my orientation, but I was actually avoiding the truth, which is that while I'm straight, I will never be content with anyone. I know now that the darkness will never leave.


Last spring I met someone who was unlike anyone else I'd ever met. Someone who showed me just how well two people could get along and how much I could care about another human being. Someone I know I could be with and love for the rest of my life, if I weren't so fucked up. Amazingly, she liked me. She liked the shell of the man the darkness had left behind. But it didn't matter because I couldn't be alone with her. It was never just the two of us, it was always the three of us: her, me and the darkness. The closer we got, the more intensely I'd feel the darkness, like some evil mirror of my emotions. All the closeness we had and I loved was complemented by agony that I couldn't stand, from him. I realized that I would never be able to give her, or anyone, all of me or only me. She could never have me without the darkness and evil inside me. I could never have just her, without the darkness being a part of all of our interactions. I will never be able to be at peace or content or in a healthy relationship. I realized the futility of the romantic part of my life. If I had never met her, I would have realized this as soon as I met someone else who I meshed similarly well with. It's likely that things wouldn't have worked out with her and we would have broken up (with our relationship ending, like the majority of relationships do) even if I didn't have this problem, since we only dated for a short time. But I will face exactly the same problems with the darkness with anyone else. Despite my hopes, love and compatability is not enough. Nothing is enough. There's no way I can fix this or even push the darkness down far enough to make a relationship or any type of intimacy feasible.


So I watched as things fell apart between us. I had put an explicit time limit on our relationship, since I knew it couldn't last because of the darkness and didn't want to hold her back, and this caused a variety of problems. She was put in an unnatural situation that she never should have been a part of. It must have been very hard for her, not knowing what was actually going on with me, but this is not something I've ever been able to talk about with anyone. Losing her was very hard for me as well. Not because of her (I got over our relationship relatively quickly), but because of the realization that I would never have another relationship and because it signified the last true, exclusive personal connection I could ever have. This wasn't apparent to other people, because I could never talk about the real reasons for my sadness. I was very sad in the summer and fall, but it was not because of her, it was because I will never escape the darkness with anyone. She was so loving and kind to me and gave me everything I could have asked for under the circumstances. I'll never forget how much happiness she brought me in those briefs moments when I could ignore the darkness. I had originally planned to kill myself last winter but never got around to it. (Parts of this letter were written over a year ago, other parts days before doing this.) It was wrong of me to involve myself in her life if this were a possibility and I should have just left her alone, even though we only dated for a few months and things ended a long time ago. She's just one more person in a long list of people I've hurt.


I could spend pages talking about the other relationships I've had that were ruined because of my problems and my confusion related to the darkness. I've hurt so many great people because of who I am and my inability to experience what needs to be experienced. All I can say is that I tried to be honest with people about what I thought was true.

I've spent my life hurting people. Today will be the last tim

I've told different people a lot of things, but I've never told anyone about what happened to me, ever, for obvious reasons. It took me a while to realize that no matter how close you are to someone or how much they claim to love you, people simply cannot keep secrets. I learned this a few years ago when I thought I was gay and told people. The more harmful the secret, the juicier the gossip and the more likely you are to be betrayed. People don't care about their word or what they've promised, they just do whatever the fuck they want and justify it later. It feels incredibly lonely to realize you can never share something with someone and have it be between just the two of you. I don't blame anyone in particular, I guess it's just how people are. Even if I felt like this is something I could have shared, I have no interest in being part of a friendship or relationship where the other person views me as the damaged and contaminated person that I am. So even if I were able to trust someone, I probably would not have told them about what happened to me. At this point I simply don't care who knows.


I feel an evil inside me. An evil that makes me want to end life. I need to stop this. I need to make sure I don't kill someone, which is not something that can be easily undone. I don't know if this is related to what happened to me or something different. I recognize the irony of killing myself to prevent myself from killing someone else, but this decision should indicate what I'm capable of.


So I've realized I will never escape the darkness or misery associated with it and I have a responsibility to stop myself from physically harming others.


I'm just a broken, miserable shell of a human being. Being molested has defined me as a person and shaped me as a human being and it has made me the monster I am and there's nothing I can do to escape it. I don't know any other existence. I don't know what life feels like where I'm apart from any of this. I actively despise the person I am. I just feel fundamentally broken, almost non-human. I feel like an animal that woke up one day in a human body, trying to make sense of a foreign world, living among creatures it doesn't understand and can't connect with.


I have accepted that the darkness will never allow me to be in a relationship. I will never go to sleep with someone in my arms, feeling the comfort of their hands around me. I will never know what uncontimated intimacy is like. I will never have an exclusive bond with someone, someone who can be the recipient of all the love I have to give. I will never have children, and I wanted to be a father so badly. I think I would have made a good dad. And even if I had fought through the darkness and married and had children all while being unable to feel intimacy, I could have never done that if suicide were a possibility. I did try to minimize pain, although I know that this decision will hurt many of you. If this hurts you, I hope that you can at least forget about me quickly.


There's no point in identifying who molested me, so I'm just going to leave it at that. I doubt the word of a dead guy with no evidence about something that happened over twenty years ago would have much sway.


You may wonder why I didn't just talk to a professional about this. I've seen a number of doctors since I was a teenager to talk about other issues and I'm positive that another doctor would not have helped. I was never given one piece of actionable advice, ever. More than a few spent a large part of the session reading their notes to remember who I was. And I have no interest in talking about being raped as a child, both because I know it wouldn't help and because I have no confidence it would remain secret. I know the legal and practical limits of doctor/patient confidentiality, growing up in a house where we'd hear stories about the various mental illnesses of famous people, stories that were passed down through generations. All it takes is one doctor who thinks my story is interesting enough to share or a doctor who thinks it's her right or responsibility to contact the authorities and have me identify the molestor (justifying her decision by telling herself that someone else might be in danger). All it takes is a single doctor who violates my trust, just like the "friends" who I told I was gay did, and everything would be made public and I'd be forced to live in a world where people would know how fucked up I am. And yes, I realize this indicates that I have severe trust issues, but they're based on a large number of experiences with people who have shown a profound disrepect for their word and the privacy of others.


People say suicide is selfish. I think it's selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won't feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day.


Some people are just dealt bad hands in this life. I know many people have it worse than I do, and maybe I'm just not a strong person, but I really did try to deal with this. I've tried to deal with this every day for the last 23 years and I just can't f___ take it anymore.


I often wonder what life must be like for other people. People who can feel the love from others and give it back unadulterated, people who can experience sex as an intimate and joyous experience, people who can experience the colors and happenings of this world without constant misery. I wonder who I'd be if things had been different or if I were a stronger person. It sounds pretty great.


I'm prepared for death. I'm prepared for the pain and I am ready to no longer exist. Thanks to the strictness of New Jersey gun laws this will probably be much more painful than it needs to be, but what can you do. My only fear at this point is messing something up and surviving.


I'd also like to address my family, if you can call them that. I despise everything they stand for and I truly hate them, in a non-emotional, dispassionate and what I believe is a healthy way. The world will be a better place when they're dead—one with less hatred and intolerance.


If you're unfamiliar with the situation, my parents are fundamentalist Christians who kicked me out of their house and cut me off financially when I was 19 because I refused to attend seven hours of church a week.


They live in a black and white reality they've constructed for themselves. They partition the world into good and evil and survive by hating everything they fear or misunderstand and calling it love. They don't understand that good and decent people exist all around us, "saved" or not, and that evil and cruel people occupy a large percentage of their church. They take advantage of people looking for hope by teaching them to practice the same hatred they practice.


A random example:


"I am personally convinced that if a Muslim truly believes and obeys the Koran, he will be a terrorist." - George Zeller, August 24, 2010.


If you choose to follow a religion where, for example, devout Catholics who are trying to be good people are all going to Hell but child molestors go to Heaven (as long as they were "saved" at some point), that's your choice, but it's f____ up. Maybe a God who operates by those rules does exist. If so, f____ Him.


Their church was always more important than the members of their family and they happily sacrificed whatever necessary in order to satisfy their contrived beliefs about who they should be.


I grew up in a house where love was proxied through a God I could never believe in. A house where the love of music with any sort of a beat was literally beaten out of me. A house full of hatred and intolerance, run by two people who were experts at appearing kind and warm when others were around. Parents who tell an eight year old that his grandmother is going to Hell because she's Catholic. Parents who claim not to be racist but then talk about the horrors of miscegenation. I could list hundreds of other examples, but it's tiring.


Since being kicked out, I've interacted with them in relatively normal ways. I talk to them on the phone like nothing happened. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I like pretending I have a family. Maybe I like having people I can talk to about what's been going on in my life. Whatever the reason, it's not real and it feels like a sham. I should have never allowed this reconnection to happen.


I wrote the above a while ago, and I do feel like that much of the time. At other times, though, I feel less hateful. I know my parents honestly believe the crap they believe in. I know that my mom, at least, loved me very much and tried her best. One reason I put this off for so long is because I know how much pain it will cause her. She has been sad since she found out I wasn't "saved", since she believes I'm going to Hell, which is not a sadness for which I am responsible. That was never going to change, and presumably she believes the state of my physical body is much less important than the state of my soul. Still, I cannot intellectually justify this decision, knowing how much it will hurt her. Maybe my ability to take my own life, knowing how much pain it will cause, shows that I am a monster who doesn't deserve to live. All I know is that I can't deal with this pain any longer and I'm am truly sorry I couldn't wait until my family and everyone I knew died so this could be done without hurting anyone. For years I've wished that I'd be hit by a bus or die while saving a baby from drowning so my death might be more acceptable, but I was never so lucky.


To those of you who have shown me love, thank you for putting up with all my shittiness and moodiness and arbitrariness. I was never the person I wanted to be. Maybe without the darkness I would have been a better person, maybe not. I did try to be a good person, but I realize I never got very far.


I'm sorry for the pain this causes. I really do wish I had another option. I hope this letter explains why I needed to do this. If you can't understand this decision, I hope you can at least forgive me."

Bill Zeller

----

"Please save this letter and repost it if gets deleted. I don't want people to wonder why I did this. I disseminated it more widely than I might have otherwise because I'm worried that my family might try to restrict access to it. I don't mind if this letter is made public. In fact, I'd prefer it be made public to people being unable to read it and drawing their own conclusions.


Feel free to republish this letter, but only if it is reproduced in its entirety."

When Child Training Leads to Abuse and Murder: Pearls of Wisdom for Concerned Parents

Butte County (California) District Attorney Mike Ramsey confirmed last Thursday that he is exploring a possible connection to a Web site that endorses "biblical discipline" to the murder of a seven year old girl. Kevin Schatz, 46, and his wife, Elizabeth Schatz, 42, were arraigned in Butte County Superior Court and could face two life terms in prison if convicted. The Schatzes were arrested Saturday morning, February 6, 2010 after their adopted daughter, Lydia, age 7, stopped breathing. She was subsequently pronounced dead. Her 11-year-old sister, Zariah Schatz, remains in critical condition at a Sacramento children's hospital, though she is showing some signs of recovery. The two were adopted at the same time with an infant girl, now 3, from the same African orphanage about three years ago.

Salon is reporting that the Schatzes followed closely the popular, child "training" practices of Michael and Debi Pearl. The teachings of the Pearls and their Tennessee-based No Greater Joy ministry, which brought in $1.8 million last year in sales of books, DVDs and the like, are widely known across many conservative Christian churches and home-schooling communities. The Pearls advocate a specific program of even-tempered "chastisement" designed to bring about total obedience -- even by infants -- to their sovereign parents. Their website proclaims "A length of quarter-inch plumbing supply line is a real attention-getter."

It is with such an instrument that sisters Lydia and Zariah were punished. The Pearls cannot be ultimately blamed for the death of Lydia, but there is a growing concern among Christian groups that the mindless following of Old Covenant discipline principles taught by the Pearls, based upon a Jewish covenantal system that ultimately called for the death of continuously rebellious children, is misleading many Christian parents.

For more information on this tragic murder one may read the following sites:

Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family
The Course of Our Lives
I Speak of the Unspeakable
A Terrible Event
When Parenting Kills
Does the End Justify the Means?
When Parenting Kills: An Update
Hold Them Down, Defeat Them Totally
Sharper Iron

Are We Southern Baptist Leaders Indirect Accomplices to Matt Baker's Murder of His Wife?

I know the question which forms the title of this post is not a pleasant one, particularly for those of us who have experienced positions of leadership in the Southern Baptist Convention. However, I feel we must ask this tough question because of the nauseating truth uncovered in the murder trial, and ultimate conviction, of Matt Baker. Last week a Waco jury found the former Southern Baptist pastor guilty of murdering his wife. Details of the case are gruesome. Testimony during the trial was sickening. This man deserves death, not 65 years in prison (which is what he received). I will not rehash the case, you may go to Christa Brown's website for a comprehensive synopsis, but I will simply point out some of the sickening known facts about Mr. Baker's past--events that occurred prior to Baker murdering his wife.

(1). Matt Baker attempted to rape an athletic trainer while at a Southern Baptist school. The attempted rape was reported, but school authorities did nothing to inform others of Mr. Baker's perverse actions, including the police. They simply placed the incident in the confidential file of Matt Baker.

(2). Matt Baker sexually accosted several young ladies while working in Southern Baptist churches. One pastor who had been received information about the incidents from a victim herself, kept it all quiet--not wanting to be the person responsible for ruining Mr. Baker's ministerial career.

(3). Even after Matt Baker's wife was murdered and questions were being raised about Mr. Baker's illicit affair with a woman in his congregation who had come to him for "counseling," Mr. Baker was recommended, and hired, to a position working with college students within the Baptist Convention of Texas.

(4). The Southern Baptist Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention voted down my recommendation in 2008 that we keep a data base of ministers "credibly accused or convicted of sexual misconduct." The church that Matt Baker pastored in Waco, Texas at the time he murdered his wife is listed in the Southern Baptist catalogue of churches on the SBC's own database (see Crossroads Baptist Church). May the pastor search committee of Crossroads benefited from a data base kept at SBC headquarters? If our Convention leadership took seriously any allegations of sexual misconduct by ministers been the impetus needed for others to report Baker's misconduct to them?

(5). If we as Southern Baptists don't do something to track sexual predators in our pulpits, how can we not be held responsible when one of those predators winds up killing his wife?

My question is a sincere one.

In His Grace,


Wade Burleson

Walking Where SBC Preachers Fail to Tread

The sordid case of former Southern Baptist pastor Darrel Gilyard is coming to a just and appropriate end. Gilyard has entered into a plea deal with prosecuters for multiple sex crimes, and will receive his sentencing this Thursday, May 21, 2009 before a media circus in state court. Gilyard is agreeing to his guilt on all charges and to three years incarceration in a state facility and then three years probation. He will also carry a permanent record identifying him as a sexual predator/offender. The court has also mandated periodic psychiatric evaluations and ongoing counseling.

A handful of leaders in our Convention, as detailed here last September, 2008, neglected to fulfill their God-given responsibilities to shut down Gilyard's ministry and provide help to his victims. Alas, a young Southern Baptist woman, a Gilyard victim herself, approached the unenviable task of bringing Gilyard to justice with the zeal of a modern apostle. Tiffany Croft began her blog with the goal of treading where we Southern Baptist pastors and leaders feared to trod. With all the negative press from official channels in the SBC regarding blogs, it would be great to see someone like Tiffany be given credit using a blog to bring about good in our society.

It has been my privilege to speak with Tiffany on a couple of occasions, and I have followed her blog with interest over the past couple of years. She has sent an email to her friends about the plea agreement, and I reproduce it here, with her permission, to express my heartfelt gratitude to Tiffany.

Thank you so much for your prayers, encouragement and support - you will never fully understand how much it meant to me! I have really struggled in this journey as it was exhausting and so many things I would rather not even know (details and the depths of this garbage) and though there were many times I wished I could just lay it all down, and forget it all - I am so thankful that we saw it through. I have had the opportunity to "be there" to help carry the weight for so many and I know that it has helped me to heal as well, and has also made sense of the past.

Many of you already know that the blog became a huge source of leads and lead to many other witnesses and victims (many were still to scared to testify) - all of these were passed along by me to the State Attorney and they acted on each and every one, in the early days it was a whirlwind. Eventually it settled into waiting as they pieced all of the pieces together and figured out how the case would actually look. The blog then became a place for people to vent, to ask questions and get information about court hearings etc. It served its purpose, I believe that it was meant to be a tool, and I am thankful.

When I had my dealings with Gilyard all those years ago, as a 17 year old girl, I felt so ashamed and wondered how I could have been so blinded, how could I have trusted so completely this man? I also believed fully in the sovereignty of our Savior, so I questioned Him one night, "I know you have plans for me, I don't understand why you allowed this to happen to me. I can either be angry with you that you allowed this, or I can acknowledge that you allowed it for a purpose that I can't understand." I decided the latter. I dealt with my pain, anger, trust issues, shame....and I decided that I was not going to carry it any longer - whether I ever knew the purpose for it or not, I was surrendering it. All of these years later, it has not consumed me through the years (Hallelujah), I rarely even thought of it other than in ways that I have shared it to help others. When I saw him preaching on television, I was not consumed with anger, I felt fear (for any unwilling victims) but I also felt pity for him, living a lie.

But the night I saw him on the news over a year ago after having been arrested, I felt such a surge of strength rise up within me and I KNEW what I needed to do. I released tears that I hadn't cried in years (as memories surfaced) but I felt so strong and I knew that something had to be done this time to make sure that everyone knew and did not let him get away again - it was time. The warrior within me cried out, not for vengeance, but it was as if my warrior cry lined up and joined the cry of our Heavenly Father - it was time for David to face Goliath, and I was never once afraid - the Rock and my fortress were all around me and I knew that you were all covering me with prayer! So you have all had a mighty hand in all of this. Thank you and God bless you!

Kudos Tiffany Thigpen Croft. May your tribe increase.

In His Grace,

Wade

The Sordid and Strange Darrell Gilyard Story and What It Reveals About the SBC

The Florida Times Union reports that Darrell Gilyard, a former Southern Baptist pastor, will appear in Florida court this month to defend himself on charges of lewd and lascivious conduct against a fourteen year old girl. Gilyard, who resigned January 4, 2008 as pastor of Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Florida after his arrest, is an interesting case study regarding the old, but sad axiom in the Southern Baptist Convention - "It's not who you are, but who you know that gets you places." Though one cannot be sure of the motives of those involved in the following story, it seems that there is an air of "us vs. them" mentality in some SBC leadership circles that leads to cover ups and excuses for inexcusable conduct among SBC ministers.

Darrell Gilyard burst on the SBC scene when he preached at the 1989 Southern Baptist Convention Pastors' Conference at the instigation of Paige Patterson and Jerry Vines. Gilyard related to SBC pastors how he had grown up as a homeless teenager, living under a bridge in Jacksonville, Florida, only to be miraculously converted and called to preach. He expressed gratefulness to both Vines and Patterson as he articulated the need for young, conservative gospel preachers to follow the leaders of the conservative resurgence. His message received a standing ovation at the SBC Pastor's Conference, and a star had been born in SBC circles. Jerry Vines had "discovered" Gilyard in Jacksonville, and Paige Patterson had discipled Gilyard as the young preacher attended Criswell College in the mid-1980's.

Gilyard would later repeat this "homeless" story on Jerry Falwell's Old Time Gospel Hour television broadcast, only to have his adoptive mother, Barbara Davis of Palatka, Florida, tell the media afterwards that she had raised Darrell from age 5 to 19 in middle income comfort, and that his story of living homeless under a bridge was a lie. Unfortunately, lying was the least of the problems of this young man who was fast becoming a rising star among Southern Baptists. While Gilyard was at Criswell, a long litany of sexual allegations against Gilyard came to the surface. It was during this time that Gilyard, with the encouragemnt and recommendation of Paige Patterson, became a staff member at Concord Missionary Baptist Church in Dallas. What happened next is unconscionable.

Predatorial Behavior Explained Away

According to The Dallas Morning News, Concord's Senior Pastor, E.K. Bailey said a dark side of Mr. Gilyard began to emerge while "ministering" at Concord. Rumors began to fly that the associate pastor was making advances on women in the church. In 1987, within two years after his hiring at Concord, Mr. Gilyard was fired in front of 1,500 members of Concord Baptist for having had inappropriate sexual relationships with at least, according to Pastor Baily, twenty five women members of the church.

Mr. Bailey said officials from First Baptist, Dallas, Texas, the church that sponsors Criswell College, attended the open service during which Mr. Gilyard was fired. Though Criswell College and FBC Dallas representatives were present at the Concord service where Gilard was fired, Patterson later decided there was not enough "evidence" to further investigate Mr. Gilyard or discipline him in terms of Criswell College or Gilyard's ministry among SBC churches. Gilyard was promoted among SBC churches by Patterson, Vines and other conservative leaders. In fact, according to Pastor Bailey, "Paige Patterson wrote me an unkind letter over the whole ordeal (Gilyard's firing). He basically told me that he would have come out to my church and solved the problem for me if I had told him first." Notice, according to the letter, the problem was not the young ladies being victimized. The problem was not the sexual impropriety of Mr. Gilyard. The "problem" was the public firing. It never would have happened if Patterson had been involved.

Pastor Bailey, now deceased, said First Baptist Church, Dallas, Texas and specifically Paige Patterson, continued to promote Mr. Gilyard throughout the predominantly white Southern Baptist churches. "You saw his star rising and rising," said Pastor Bailey, "and you knew what kind of a person he was." Pastor Bailey's comment illumines the theme of this post: "It is not 'who' you are, but 'who' you know that matters in the SBC."

Let me illustrate. After Gilyard's termination at Concord in 1987, he had little trouble gaining employment as assistant pastor for Hilltop Baptist Church in Norman, Oklahoma. Hilltop is a Southern Baptist Church and Senior Pastor Dan Maxwell hired Gilyard in 1988, less than a year after Gilyard was terminated at Concord. Maxwell had previously hosted a series of "conservative resurgence" pastors' meetings at his church at Hilltop, with Paige Patterson as the guest speaker. A former staff member at Hilltop, who would later serve with us at Emmanuel, told me that Pastor Maxwell hired Gilyard in 1988 at the sole urging and recommendation of Paige Patterson. Patterson told Maxwell to hire Gilyard, in spite of the allegations in Dallas, because the women in Dallas could not be believed. This squares with what Pastor Maxwell would later recount to The Dallas Morning News when he explained why he had hired Gilyard. "Paige Patterson said he had been out there (to Concord Missionary Baptist) and talked to the women and there had been nothing to the allegations. He (Patterson) could not substantiate them." However, less than a year after Gilyard arrived at Hilltop, allegations of sexual misconduct against Gilyard surfaced at that Southern Baptist church as well. Two women told Pastor Dan Maxwell that Mr. Gilyard had made sexual advances toward them, and a third woman confessed to having an affair with Mr. Gilyard.

Pastor Maxwell says he took this information of Gilyard's misconduct to Dr. Patterson. Dr. Patterson called and spoke personally to the woman who said she had an affair with Mr. Gilyard. After Patterson spoke to the woman, he told Pastor Maxwell that he did not believe the woman's story. "That individual's story changed many times," Dr. Patterson later explained to a reporter of The Dallas Morning News. "That bothered me," he said.

What is disturbing to me is the fact that Patterson is "bothered" by the womans story and not by the fact Gilyard is once again accused of sexual impropriety; particularly since Patterson already knew of Gilyard's 1987 sexual misconduct at Concord Baptist Church. Patterson was "bothered" by the woman's story at Hilltop, but NOT by Gilyard's alleged sexual misbehavior at Hilltop? Gilyard was terminated from Hilltop in early 1989 by Pastor Maxwell, and the friendship between Maxwell and Patterson, according to a staff member at Hilltop at the time, was terminally breached.

Back in Dallas in 1990

After being released from Hilltop in 1989, Mr. Gilyard made his way back to Dallas, Texas, and with the assistance of Patterson, Gilyard become the associate pastor at Shiloh Baptist in Garland, Texas. Before long, sexual misconduct allegations surfaced at Shiloh against Gilyard. Once again, Dr. Patterson intervened on behalf of his disciple. In 1990 Dr. Patterson met with two women who represented friends who, they said, were involved with Mr. Gilyard. Don Simpkins, a pastoral counselor, also attended. Mr. Simpkins said Dr. Patterson asked him to counsel Mr. Gilyard once a week. "I was supposed to "polish the rough edges," said Mr. Simpkins. Mr. Simpkins said that after a few visits with Mr. Gilyard, he suspected some "personality disorders' and wanted to test Mr. Gilyard . "He refused," Mr. Simpkins told the Dallas Morning News, "so I called Paige to let him know it wasn't going well, but he never returned any of my calls."

Gilyard was fired from Shiloh Baptist Church in 1990, only to wind up as pastor of Victory Baptist Church in Richardson, Texas a few months later. In July of 1991, reports of sexual improprieties by Pastor Gilyard at Victory Baptist (his fourth church in four years), burst into the public realm. The allegations by the women at Victory Baptist Church who claimed to be his victims are so bizarre that I will post them verbatim from the July 14, 1991 Dallas Morning News article that made them public:

When it came to women (Gilyard) would not allow them to usher, serve on the finance committee, teach men or take classes with them.

But outside the church, according to the women who claim to have been victimized by him, Mr. Gilyard spent most of his time with women. Those who talked with The Dallas Morning News about their experiences asked to remain anonymous . . .

A woman joined Victory Baptist shortly after she moved to Dallas last year. Mr. Gilyard offered her a job at the church. "He called about 10 o'clock one night and said he wanted to talk about my work," she recalled. "We talked for a while like that, then the conversation shifted and he started getting real personal.

He wanted to know what attracted me to him. I should have hung up, but I felt flattered.' She said the phone call became more sexually explicit until finally she hung up. I felt dirty and sick afterward," she said.

She said she told Darrell DeBoard, the administrator at Victory Baptist, two or three days later. The woman said she also quit her job at the church and moved out of town that weekend.Mr. DeBoard declined to discuss the incident, saying he could not violate a confidence . . .

Martha Dixius, a social worker who taught Sunday school at Victory Baptist, said a woman in the congregation approached her in November for help. The woman, said Ms. Dixius, had "a trust level of a 7-year-old. She is very naive.' In a counseling session, Ms. Dixius said, the woman told her that Mr. Gilyard had noted her visitor's card and phoned her the next day with an offer to show her through the church. During the tour, he asked her questions a bout her personal life.

The next evening about 6 p.m., the woman told Ms. Dixius, Mr. Gilyard drove to her apartment and called her from his car phone. "She let him in her apartment because he told her he wanted to talk about some of the problems they had discussed the night before,' Ms. Dixius said. "She told me that by 6:30, she was raped." The woman told her she was too confused and frightened to call police. The woman told Ms. Dixius that Mr. Gilyard continued to go to her apartment for six months and have sex with her. "He would - call her from the car phone and say, "I'm coming up, let me in,' and she would be too frightened to say no.' After counseling the woman for four months, Ms. Dixius referred her to another counselor. The two counselors met with the woman and Darrell DeBoard, administrator of Victory Baptist. "The word "rape' was used a lot," Mr. DeBoard recalled, "but I understood that to be emotional rape. She was graphic with details, so it was hard not to believe that something had happened."

It was only during the time that the Dallas Morning News made the above allegations against Gilyard public that Paige Patterson ended his support of Gilyard. Gilyard had been fired from FOUR churches in FOUR years for allegations of sexual misconduct from dozens and dozens of women. Patterson knew of the sexual misconduct allegations against Gilyard at Concord Baptist Church in 1987. He knew about the sexual allegations against Gilyard at Hilltop Baptist Church in 1988. Gilyard preached at the Southern Baptist Convention Pastors' Conference in 1989 after being introduced to Conference leaders by Patterson and Vines. Patterson knew about the sexual misconduct allegations against Gilyard at Shiloh Baptist Church in 1990. Patterson knew about the sexual misconduct allegations against Gilyard at Victory Baptist Church in 1991.

Again, The Dallas Morning News made public the sexual misconduct allegations against Gilyard on July 14, 1991, at least six years after initial accounts of Gilyard's sexual improprieties surfaced at Criswell. Since that day in 1991 Patterson says he has had nothing to do with Darrell Gilyard.

Gilyard left Dallas in late 1991 and went to Florida where he eventually became pastor of Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church of Jacksonville in 1993. The state of Florida is now seeking to prosecute Gilyard for "lewd and lascivious conduct" against a fourteen year old girl while serving as pastor at Shiloh in Florida. The sordid and strange Darrell Gilyard story has yet to end, but there are some lessons we can learn from it in the SBC.

Lesons Learned

(1). Information is power - to either check or correct poor leadership.

One wonders if glowing recommendations regarding Darrell Gilyard and his "ministry" would have continued from SBC leadership, in spite of their knowledge of allegations of sexual impropriety against Gilyard, had it not been for the public revelations of the Dallas Morning News in 1991. Thank God for a free, independent press. In addition, we thank the Lord for those women who have been victimized by Gilyard but are now making their voices heard in order to prevent other predatory behavior. Tiffany Croft, a young lady who became a victim of Gilyard's immoral conduct, wrote to me this past year expressing her desire to stop Gilyard from victimizing other women and girls. Croft eventually started a blog of her own called Let's Stop Darrell Gilyard Together". She is proof that every voice counts. She has made a difference.

(2). Southern Baptist churches would do well to remember that the qualifications for effective pastoral leadership are measured by the words and testimonies of those church members who have been recipients of a pastor's love and ministry - not professional endorsers.

In other words, though it is often not "who you are, but who you know" that gets you places in the SBC, a wise church will discount the big names on a resume and do due diligence with those people who have experienced the ministry of a pastor over the course of years. Likewise, big name denominational leaders may say negative things about people they do not like, but the "proof" of effective pastoral leadership is in the people being led.

(3). It is a shame when those outside the SBC must call our leaders to account for their actions because we Southern Baptists are too fearful to hold our own leaders accountable.

The Survivor Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) called on the trustees of Southwestern Theological Seminary to remove President Paige Patterson for protecting Darrell Gilyard from being held accountable for his sexual misconduct in the 1980's and 1990's. SNAP believes victimized women and girls could have been protected from the predatory behavior of Gilyard had Southern Baptist leaders, particularly former SBC Presidents Vines and Patterson, held him accountable when they first were informed of his behavior. On January 9, 2008, President Paige Patterson officially responded to SNAP's request that Patterson be removed:

Christa Brown and the SNAP organization have alleged that years ago, and even in the present, I have protected Darrell Gilyard, most recently the Pastor of Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Florida, when he was involved in sexual misconduct. These snap judgments by Brown and others are misinformed and inaccurate.

Patterson goes on to write about how he "moderated" the 1991 meeting where Gilyard was terminated from Shiloh Baptist Church in Dallas, but . . .

(a). He does not answer why in 1987 he rebuked Pastor E.K. Baily for terminating Gilyard from Concord Baptist Church after "twenty-five" women accused Gilyard of sexual misconduct.
(b). He does not answer why he recommended Gilyard to Hilltop Baptist Church in 1988 AFTER knowing the charges against Gilyard at Concord.
(c). He does not answer why he arranged for Gilyard to speak at the SBC Pastors Conference AFTER he knew of the sexual misconduct allegations at BOTH Concord Baptist and Hilltop Baptist churches.
(d). He does not answer why he refused to "believe" the stories of the women who claimed to be having sexual relationships with Pastor Gilyard; that is, not until The Dallas Morning news reported the stories of these women publicly.
(e). He does not answer why he arranged for a "pastoral counselor" to work on "the rough edges" of Darrell Gilyard in 1990 after Gilyard had been terminated from his THIRD church in THREE years (Shiloh Baptist, Dallas, Texas) for sexual misconduct instead of working to remove Gilyard from all pastoral ministry.

Why Bring All This Up Again Now?

Southern Baptists have proven we do not like to air our dirty laundry. When things become known to the outside world, we attack the messenger, rather than deal with the problem. We must change our approach. Southern Baptists must stand up and speak out, rather than mock or ridicule those who do.

According to the blog Abuse and Christianity, Darrell Gilyard has been back in the pulpit of a Southern Baptist affiliated church while he awaits his trial in Florida. Rather than act as if Southern Baptists would never ignore sexual predators in the pulpit, rather than mock and ridicule those who expose our lack of moral judgment, we should learn from our history so that Southern Baptist churches and pastors will not be tempted to repeat it.

We must understand that if we don't clean up our own house, nobody else will.

In His Grace,


Wade

The Problem of a Predator In the Pulpit in the SBC

After watching a gut wrenching video on the predatorial behavior of a Southern Baptist pastor who seems to have been protected from disclosure and discipline by other Southern Baptists ministers, and after receiving the following email from a victim of this alleged Southern Baptist sexual predator, my interest in the child sexual abuse motion before the Southern Baptist Convention has only heightened. I am hopeful that appropriate solutions to the problem of sexual predators remaining in Southern Baptist ministry can be resolved by our national meeting this June. Tiffany Croft, in her email below, asks for suggestions. Surely the great minds of our convention can come up with an effective proposal. Yes?

Mr. Burleson,

I was given your contact info. by Bob Allen of Ethics Daily. I also just stumbled upon your blog. I was researching Dallas and SBC information and read about Joel Gregory.

My situation is that I am involved in a struggle here in Jacksonville, Florida trying to insure that a preacher here never reaches the pulpit again. His name is Darrell Gilyard. He has a 20 year history of abuse and sexual misconduct of his members wives and young women. In recent years, he has turned to young minor girls (ages 14- 16). He is facing charges currently her in Jacksonville - I was a 18 year old victim of his in 1991. There was a huge cover up back then (he was a Pastor at Victory Baptist in Dallas then) and Paige Patterson (and others) knew of his problems and did not help any of the victims back then. Long story. Now this man has been Pastoring a local church here for the last years (1993-2007) and is abusing still.

I was attacked by Patterson personally for speaking out with my story and the need to get this man out of the pulpit. He uses his power as a Pastor of a Mega church to abuse. There are more than a hundred victims in his past. The cover up by prominent Pastors and leaders is truly amazing. The State Attorneys office cannot even believe what he has been allowed to get away with.

I am not out to get anyone or to attack Patterson etc. - I just want to make sure that this man does not go unpunished and be allowed to move on to another church. No more victims.

The problem is he still has supporters within the churches, politically within our community, and then Patterson and others saying that we shouldn't be talking about it, let the church handle it. 20 years is long enough to "let them handle it". Gilyard was a "golden boy" of the SBC, Criswell, Patterson, Vines etc. when his problems were first brought to light. He continued to have their backing for the last 17 years - this gave him more power. People are disgusted that they allowed him to move on and not warn everyone.

I know that God will have His way with Gilyard, He will answer - I am just concerned for future victims. The impact he will have on their lives, and possibly their faith. He should not be allowed to continue. Many are still trying to keep it quiet. By the way each church he has been in since 1987 has left a trail of victims and he has always been forced to (quietly) leave. Why the politics of covering up horrible, damaging sin?

Any suggestions or help?

Thank you,
Tiffany Croft
http://tiffanycroft.blogspot.com/
thefamilycircus5@comcast.net

Tiffany, when you and other courageous women like yourself speak out, awareness is raised of the horrible issue. I, again, promise to help you and others to the best of my ability. We will ensure that something is done on the national level.

In His Grace,

Wade

Preventing Child Abuse Is A Calling For Us All

At the San Antonio Convention this Tuesday morning, at 8:40 a.m., I plan to introduce the following motion:

“I move that the Southern Baptist Convention requests the Executive Committee to conduct a feasibility study concerning the development of a database of Southern Baptist ministers who have been credibly accused of, personally confessed to, or legally been convicted of sexual harrassment or abuse, and that such a database be accessible to Southern Baptist churches in order to assist in preventing any future sexual abuse or harrassment.”

The issue of preventing child abuse must be dealt with by all Christians, including the Southern Baptist Convention. I don't have all the answers, but I know that we must do all we can to stop the victimization of our children, and we cannot turn a blind eye toward those who commit such crimes.

Recently, Lane Aspinwall, the national marketing coordinator for the 501C-3 non-profit organization called Darkness to Light, contacted me to ask our church staff to participate in their online training. This organization is committed to help train adults to "prevent, recognize, and react responsibilty to child sexual abuse."

Our children's directer, Paula Minx, and my personal secretary, Barbara Ebert, both took the on-line course. The cost is $15.00 and both ladies told me it was very helpful in learning how to prevent child abuse.

Paula says of the The Stewards of Children Course:

The Darkness to Light truly brings to light the epidemic of child sexual abuse through the Stewards of Children training. The interactive training engages the participant through video testimonies of victims, child advocacy workers, pediatricians and other professionals. The program also incorporates an interactive workbook that contains the full program curriculum for further reference. The format of the program is well done, but the content is life changing.

Darkness to Light opened my eyes to many startling statistics, such as experts estimate that one in six boys and one in four girls will be sexually abused by their eighteenth birthday. That is an epidemic. But, less than one in ten will tell about the abuse. That is heart breaking. Darkness to Light provides insightful training on how adults can help in the battle against childhood sexual abuse through the 7 steps to protecting children. These include learning the facts, minimizing opportunity, talking about it, staying alert, making a plan, acting on suspicions, and getting involved.

The Stewards of Children program has personally led me to assess programs within my church, to determine questions that I should be asking my own children, and to discover how I can be proactive in the fight. Remember, we are the adults. We are the people responsible for the safety of our children. This training helps us to know how to keep the children in our lives safe. I would encourage everyone to join the fight against child sexual abuse, and the Stewards of Children training is a great first step.

Paula Minx
Director of Children’s Ministries
Emmanuel Baptist Church

Barbara Ebert writes . . .

I just finished taking the course and want to say that I would highly recommend it to parents, teachers, children’s workers, youth workers, grandparents, or anyone involved in the stewardship of children.

The training is thorough and easy to follow, although it was somewhat confusing at first to get logged in and get started.

Anyone completing this course will be better informed and equipped to protect children from child sexual abuse. If abuse has already occurred, this program outlines step-by-step procedures to follow; but especially teaches an adult how to sensitively deal with a child who becomes a victim of such abuse.

This course would be especially important to our children’s workers here at Emmanuel, even to Sunday school teachers.

One thing that stood out to me is that the more informed children and adults are, the less sexual abuse is likely to occur. Even those who would abuse children are put off if they know the child is informed of potentially dangerous situations and empowered to say ‘no’.

Darkness to Light has trained over five hundred facilitators in forty three states, and has to date seen over sixty thousand people in five countries trained on-line.

Our own Paula Minx plans to be trained as a facilitor of this ministry, and if you would like to join her to be certified to help people in your community to prevent, recognize and responsibly react to child abuse, we hope to be offering in Oklahoma a regional certified facilitator seminar in the near future. The Charleston Association of the Southern Baptist Convetnion in South Carolina is already a step ahead of us in this, but we hope to catch up soon.

Preventing child abuse is something the Southern Baptist Convention should be proud to be able to set the standard.

In His Grace,


Wade Burleson

I will post beginning Sunday night from San Antonio and will have daily updates from the SBC all next week.

Odds and Ends For the Weekend

Item One

This Friday night ABC television will air a two part series on the news program 20/20 which will examine Sexual Predators in the Southern Baptist Convention. I predict this program will be a shocker for many around the nation. I am hopeful that we who are part of the SBC can show legitimate, thoughtful concern for the problem in our midst and take concrete steps to protect our children and our churches by establishing a national data bank in Nashville that tracks men affiliated with the SBC who have been convicted of sexual harrassment or sexual abuse.

The Dallas Morning News has already posted a press release about actions being taken at the San Antonio Southern Baptist Conventon this summer to address the problem and appropriate steps to deal with it. The full press release can be read here.

Item Two

I received the following email this morning from Brian Cleveland about his dad, my friend and fellow Southern Baptist blogger Bob Cleveland.

Just wanted to let you know that dad appears to have had a TIA or Transient Ischemic Attack [some people call them a mini stroke] this morning. He is in a local Hospital and doing very well. His only symptom was some slurring of his speech. The CAT scan and MRI's have come back negative and all of his symptoms were gone as of 5:00 pm. They will be doing some additional test tomorrow and the neurologist thinks he will be able to go home tomorrow afternoon, or Friday morning at the latest.

I know he is going to be ok as he was asking for his laptop this afternoon to check the blogs :)

We would appreciate your prayers, God has already been answering today as we have seen the symptoms disappear and dad is his normal [ok, that is somewhat subjective] self.

Why don't you stop in and send Bob a get well message on his blog Eagle's Rest.

Item 3

Today is my daugher's 20th birthday. Charis is an absolute delight to her mom and dad and we will be traveling to Waco, Texas to spend the day with her tomorrow.

I look forward to posting again later this weekend.

In His Grace,

Wade